When we leave our childhood years behind, we begin experiencing our separation from the others: our parents, friends, brothers, and sisters. It takes time to perfect this sense of individuality, and sometimes we’re ready to make great efforts to protect it. As we grow up and start building adult relationships, some of us begin to fear the responsibilities associated with these relationships, trying not to be involved in them too quickly. Because of this fear, we often end the relationship when they become too serious or complex.
Many people try not to get involved in relationships too much, because they start feeling that their personality is threatened as if they were sacrificing themselves to fit the needs of their partners. Let’s take a look at a couple more reasons why we are afraid of responsibilities in relationships.
Uncertainty in a partner
If you look at people who are afraid to get involved in relationships, you’ll see one common trait – they’re not quite sure about their partners. At the same time, if you look at the relationships that, apparently, last long enough, you’ll notice another interesting feature – such relationships are characterized by the partners’ ability to weaken each other’s fears. There’s a feeling that the better a person can dispel his/her partner’s fears and doubts, the easier this person copes with the problems in relationships, and the more his/her partner is ready to get involved in them.
Uncertainty in a partner generates fear of further relationships, but it can also serve as a hint that a person needs to look at relationships more consciously and rationally.
The fear of responsibilities in relationships can also be affected by past grievances. Perhaps after experiencing an insult in intimate relationships, you subconsciously decided not to be involved in close relationships in the future, because they are now associated with resentment. In such a situation, the fear of responsibilities will always follow you, preventing you from creating serious relationships. This is also a problem because, in the long run, you may still establish serious relationships like marriage, perhaps because of the pressure from society, parents, your beliefs about relationships, and age. But the fear of responsibilities will still be a significant part of your family life, poisoning it.
Fear of establishing close relationships can be caused by everyday aspects, not necessarily related to your psychological state. For example, at this stage, you may be more interested in a career, self-realization, business, etc. Such things can take away a significant amount of energy and time from you, and a serious relationship can be perceived as a burden that you’re not prepared to bear. There is nothing to worry about, but you can feel the pressure of your own beliefs about what relationships should like. For example, you may believe that superficial relationships are “immoral” or “wrong.” That’s why the fear of responsibilities, in this case, can be a simple consequence of a conflict between your beliefs about what kind of relationship you should have with your life circumstances. If you feel that your partner is interested in a closer relationship than you need, the best thing you can do is share your feelings with her/him and talk about your unwillingness to start something serious.
Whatever caused the fear of responsibilities in relationships, the best advice that you can follow is to be honest with yourself and try to understand what drives you in a relationship. Think about what you need from your partner, and how you see perfect relationships for yourself, beyond the social frameworks and beliefs that are “right” or “wrong.”
Thanks to our friends from Jump4lovescam for providing this article.